Dating in the 21st Century

People meet others today online, in bars, and the old fashioned way, thru friends. On dating sites, all sorts of algorithms are used to match people together. It is a high tech method to make more efficient the pairing process. So, these methods skip over “natural” ways people make decisions about whom they wish to affiliate. In bars and other more or less natural settings in which people still meet in the 3D world, they still need to make decisions: Who to approach? What to say? Will they like me?

Is there a way to combine the power of data processed by computers with data gained in real time? The widespread use of biofeedback apps worn by daters can measure one’s physiological response to another person. Does my body indicate liking for the other? Am I in the right mental and physical state to make a decision about them? If the other person has access to such data and the biology matches up, a match might be made on the basis of high tech even in a natural settting.

Given the rapid surge in biofeedback apps it should not be surprising to learn that such devices exist. They might be worn on the wrist in an Apple iWatch for instance. This allows users to unobtrusively gaze at the watch to make the critical decisions about approach and avoidance. One such device is the Body-Mind reader. Tap the links below to see what it is like.

Device Home – Body-Mind Health (

Considering Heart Rate (HR) and Heart Rate Variability (HRV) Simultaneously with the Body-Mind Reader

Heart Rate (HR) and Heart Rate Variability (HRV) each indicate aspects of physical and mental functioning. Compared to Low HR, High HR indicates the person has more ENERGY. HRV, the change in the interval between heart beats, is a measure of CONTROL. Greater variability produces greater CONTROL. When we consider these variables simultaneously, we can assess the degree of ALIGNMENT in one’s nervous system. The chart below shows nine combinations of ENERGY and CONTROL. When aligned, CONTROL is proportional to ENERGY. We can think of ENERGY as the accelerator of a car, and CONTROL as the brake. More braking is required at high speeds than low speeds. Having too much or too little braking creates an unbalanced, unaligned nervous condition.

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Get the New Body-Mind Reader


Heart rate gives you information about how your nervous system–the sympathetic part– is working to increase arousal or energy. High heart Rate (HR) usually indicates higher energy than lower rates. The interval between heart beats, changes moment-to-moment. These changes are called Heart Rate Variability (HRV). HRV is regulated by the parasympathetic part of the nervous system. Compared to slow change, fast change is associated with more control. The Body-Mind Reader measures both HR and HRV simultaneously and gives a user feedback about the alignment of their energy and control moment to moment. This promotes learning how to regulate ones body and mind.

See a demo of how the Body-Mind Reader works at video at: version=3&rel=1&fs=1&autohide=2&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&start=4&wmode=transparent

The device is amazing. At first I guided the Reader by changing activity, and I noticed the color changed as soon as I formulated the intent to do something. I can see that being “in the green” is a state of mind, not necessarily linked to any particular activity, or even the extent to which that activity is burdensome or enjoyable. That’s the potential of this device: to help us get into the right state of mindfulness no matter what the task.

David M, MD. Neurologist

Is there a ‘geographic’ cure for PTSD?

People have post traumatic stress due to parental abuse, military combat and many other things. Memories associated with the trauma come into conscious attention when one perceives anything in the environment in which the traumatic event occurred. For example, if a combat veteran hears the sound of a car backfiring, it may trigger a memory of gunfire he heard when he was traumatized. Though there is no danger of being shot in the current situation, the sound of a car backfiring is similar to a gun being fired. This is called post-traumatic stress. One relives the hurtful, injurious moment over and over again.

One way to cope with PTSD is to attempt whenever possible to avoid situations and people that trigger the bad memories. Does moving away from a place that has many triggers then make sense? Well, yes it does. But a geographic change may not be enough. One must change something inside themselves. That is where the problem is. Avoidance sometimes makes sense. But approaching the problem at its root may necessary for the person to regain more or less of their mental competence. Feeling afraid of what is in your own mind is a great handicap to thinking and feeling. And, in turn, can degrade one’s ability to work and develop social relations.

But there are some people who were high functioning and mentally sound before their trauma occurred. For them, PTSD is less likely to occur than in others who had not been as healthy. Deep explorations into the mind such as EMDR and psychoanalytic treatment to rid the mind of trauma memories may not be necessary in such cases. So, for those who are mentally durable, a change in geography may be all they need.

Healing after Trauma

The photo above has the qualities of a ‘reversible figure’. At one moment it looks like a happy girl facing right with arms behind her, a life ahead of her. Then, the photo seems to show a sad, dejected girl looking left with her arms hanging limp in front of her. Reversing one’s interpretation of a visual stimulus can happen in less than a second. Reversing one’s mood from sad to glad usually takes more time.

Victims of trauma caused by, for example, parental abuse, combat in war, and betrayal in marriage need to ‘reverse their understanding’ of what has happened. The most basic feature of this change is the realization that the traumatizing event is in the past. Panic attacks, dissociation, and depression occur when memories of the injury become conscious. This is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In other words the person is still suffering from an injury that occured in the past. They are now no longer in danger. But somehow memories associated with the trauma causes a ‘reliving’ of the pain in the present. This is an awful thing to live with. As Freud said, these patients are suffering from memories.

How can one get over this? Another way to ask this question is, “What gets in the way of recovery in this and other mental disorders?” Triggers related to the original trauma such as a car backfiring, reminds the veteran of gunshots. The sound triggers memories of the original trauma, and symptoms like panic. Neurologically, trigger information reaches the amygdala, the fear avoidance part of the brain, a fraction of a second before it gets to the neocortex. This means that tendencies to flee from the trauma memories gain momentum before they reach the part of the brain that can reason. The part that can say “that was then, this is now”. But fleeing from memories one needs to understand in order to heal, makes the healing process tortuous.

In treatment, aspects of the personality least injured should be enlisted in the healing process. For example, if one has a particular expertise that has remained in tact, such as painting, it should be practised as much as possible. Creative processes cause good feelings somehow. And the better one feels, even if for a limited time of day, the more one ‘learns to feel good (again)’. The memories of being creative in the morning can work to displace bad memories at night. It is the nature of the creative experience, making something new, that gives one hope for remaking an injured mind. This is like seeing the better side of a reversible figure—the hopeful girl. In the throes of a mental illness like depression or panic, it is hard to imagine not being depressed or anxious. To imagine accomplishing anything like writing a book, composing music, or cooking a meal promotes an image of oneself as not being imprisoned by memories. People who get over PTSD, by definition, will experience a greatly expanded idea of what life is about.